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Ask a party expert
by Laurie Wrigley

Q. Last year, there were some hurt feelings when some children received many more Valentines than others. How do I keep a Valentine’s Day party from turning into a popularity contest?
A. As Valentine’s Day approaches, you might consider beginning a discussion about what it means to be “a good friend” and ways that people express their friendship. These might include good deeds, listening when someone has a problem, and exchanging letters such as valentines. Here are some other ideas on how to include everyone this Valentine’s Day.

Ideas for younger children (Kindergarten through second grade):
Make Valentine’s boxes or bags to hold cards.

Distribute a classroom list to the parents and ask that everyone receive a Valentine.

Make Valentines in class as a project, ensuring the each child makes one for each classmate by providing a list to cut and paste.

Alternatively, Valentines do not have to be addressed, only signed. Ask parents to provide enough to put in each child’s Valentine’s Day box.

Ideas for older children:
Adopt another classroom or retirement community as pen pals and exchange Valentine’s as a classroom.

Each child could pull a name to be their "secret Valentine" and do a good deed for that person. It could be something as simple as sharpening pencils for a classmate.

Each child’s pulls a classmate’s name from a hat and is asked to create a Valentine that includes something positive about the other person. "You always smile." "You are a good athlete." "You are a good friend to others."

A month before the holiday, ask the class for their thoughts on how to avoid hurt feelings. You may be surprised at how good their suggestions can be.

Laurie Wrigley is a party expert from our sister site, Birthday in a Box. She has been helping parents plan parties and other seasonal occasions for over ten years.

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